Breakfast Epiphanies

     There's a new little book on the market - Breakfast Epiphanies by the Rev. David Anderson, an Episcopal priest in Pennsylvania. The basic theme of the book is "Finding Wonder in the Everyday." I would like to share two excerpts with you. With regard to practicing good relationships, Fr. Anderson writes, "It is our family custom to hold hands when we say grace. We've done it since the children were old enough to join us at table. Sometimes when we are in conflict, one or another person will decline to join hands. But more often than not we manage to close the circle. This act of intimacy does not mean that all parties are reconciled - the pitched argument continues right after the amen. It is simply a reminder that while we may be in a bitter war, we are fighting with those we dearly love. If action must wait upon feeling, it is impossible to hold someone's hand - and 'insincere' to pray - in such a state of anger. Yet a moment's thought tells us that intimacy in the midst of conflict is the true test of love. Anyone can hold a hand or say a prayer when they feel like it.
        "In relationships, as in all of life, we are perfected by practice. It's the one thing we cando even if we're not sure we can do the real thing. If you can't dance, you can practice dancing. If you can't love, you can practice loving. If you can't empathize or set aside anger or hold a hand, you can practice doing it. Sometimes the other person can't tell the difference, and after a while,
neither can you."
       Turning to our relationships with children, Fr. Anderson writes: 'I am part of a whole generation of largely boomer parents who want the privileges and joys of parenthood without taking the difficult responsibilities of being an adult.
        "We want our children to shape up without first looking at the shape of our own lives. We want them to pitch in and take their part in the life of the family, even though we're almost never home. We want them to stay free of drugs and alcohol, when they can see what dominates our adult parties. We stand back bewildered by the young adults our children are becoming, when we have not taken the time to know them and to guide them, when we have not had the courage to set the boundaries and make the demands that authenticate love. In our frustration we careen wildly between rash punishment and abdication."
        "Something better requires self-examination and, more, an actual willingness to change. If we love our kids enough to say, 'No, you're not going there tonight,' it means that we must be prepared to stay home and make something better happen. It's just easier to complain in hackneyed terms about 'kids these days,' as we head out the door for the evening we had planned. "
        "It takes inner, adult-style maturity to look within ourselves and ask, 'How am I contributing to this problem?' We live more and more in a culture of spiritual immaturity that teaches us to say to our children, 'We have a problem and you must change.'"
        Breakfast Epiphanies - Finding Wonder in the Everyday is available from St. Andrew's Bookstore in Jackson. The cost is around $20.00 - a good price for a good little book. I commend it to your reading.

Gene⁺